7 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Turning 30 

It feels like I just turned 30 and now here I am two days before my 31st! If you know me, you will know that I LOVE Birthdays. It’s not merely about how many candles you get to blow out on your cake, it’s a celebration of how many years you have been living and a send-off to another year-long journey around the sun. If you are hovering around your third decade of life, there are seven questions to ask yourself to help you along your journey.

As mentioned in an earlier blog post, I believe the year listed on our birth certificate merely gives credit to our chronological age. What matters arguably just as much is our mental, spiritual, and biological age. If I had to gauge it, I would place myself somewhere in my late twenties.

In this quest of matching the age we most identify with, there needs to be relatively equal importance of not denying the age we actually are. Because in doing so, we would be denying a part of ourselves. A part of that has lived X number of years through all the accompanying tribulations and successes. The experience we gain during our chronological years correlates to our mental age. And same goes for our spiritual age which matures through our growing wisdom and by questioning the deeper meaning in life.

I guess what I am getting at is this – our chronological age is not a single entity that justifies how or what kind of life we have and continue to live. Place two thirty-year-olds beside each other and each will share a different tale of the life they have lived up to this point.

30 and Thriving

My tale as a thirty-year-old isn’t one I imagined when I was much younger. I believed, as a child, to be married with at least one baby living in a big house. Although these things are currently not true for me, what is true is how happy I am. Happy to feel more like myself than I have in years. I am happy to be unlearning the conditioning that made me feel I had to have XYZ achieved before 30. Happy to just simply be … me. And for the curious ones – I’m not sure I believe in marriage but I certainly believe in partnership and having babies one day.

The years preceding 30 can be a mixed bag of being human. Identity shifts, breakups, highlights, meltdowns, promotions, gap years. Sometimes it feels like, the worse the storm the better the horizon. The naivety of your early twenties begins to evaporate and what settles in its place is a greater sense of reality. A reality that reassuringly affirms that you can rock this whole adulting thing whilst incorporating enough time for your inner child.

Nothing is for nothing, it all serves its purpose in paving the path to becoming 30. A decade of life that looks pretty fabulous and exciting … plus we have relatively the same amount of energy but more money than we did earlier in our twenties!

Ask & Reflect

I have rounded up the main topics around questions to ask yourself during this phase of young adulthood. I personally, was confronted with these inquiries in the few years leading up to my 30th birthday. A huge part had to do with my Saturn Return. Some came as a full-on epiphany and others I had to work through, or to be honest, am still working through! Turning 30 felt like the weight of my twenties fell off of my shoulders and now I look ahead at a new decade.

Why are these questions particularly important to ask yourself around your 30th year of life? Like it or not, at this point, you are undoubtedly a grown-up and no other person, not even your parents, is longer responsible for you. You can get away with a fair bit in your twenties as you’re “figuring things out” but by now you have around ten-ish years of experience in the field of adulting. Along with the responsibility comes the excitement of curating the kind of life you wish to lead.

Questions to Ask Yourself  

1. Am I doing this for me or to please others?

During our twenties especially, we shape-shift and please others in exchange for social acceptance. There is no judgment in this, it’s a part of being human. The issue arises when we stray too far from our destined path and what we would rather be doing. There comes a time around turning 30 when you, for lack of a better term, start giving less of a f*ck about what others think. Peace of mind begins to harvest from remaining true to yourself.

2. If you’re in a relationship: where is this relationship taking me?

Entering into a romantic relationship in your early twenties will likely have different prerequisites than in your late twenties. As the years pass this often can be the dividing factor between couples. Are you in it for the long haul or going with the motions of comfort and familiarity?

If you’re single: am I dating because I truly desire a relationship or because I’m lonely?

I will admit, that in my twenties I would fill my time with dating apps and first dates to fill the void of my loneliness. Because of this, I attracted men who weren’t suited for me or made me feel lesser than. It can be a vicious cycle if you aren’t showing up in the dating world with the right intentions and a healthy dose of self-worth and self-love!

3. If I could wish for anything in the world, what would it be and why?

The point here is not the answer but the origin of your answer. If you wish for a large amount of money is it because you desire financial freedom or because you have a scarcity mindset around money and the cash would provide you with a sense of security? Take the answer to your wish and peel back the layers until you reach a conclusion that reveals a need within yourself you weren’t aware of.

4. Is my current reality one that aligns with my vision of the future?

Or said differently – are you afraid to break out of your comfort zone? When we live in the motions of our everyday life we can miss how far we have come or how complacent we have been. Close your eyes, quiet your mind and daydream of your ideal future. Take note of how that vision feels. Reflect on what habits in your daily life are on course to this future. What routines could you implement to get on track? You are worthy of the abundant future you envision for yourself.

If you find this step challenging I suggest checking out activation exercises. I found the Superhuman App to be very helpful in envisioning my ideal future.

5. Are my views and beliefs my own? Or have I been conditioned to adopt them as my own?

This question is based on topics such as politics, sexuality, religion and money. No matter what kind of background you come from or the household you were raised in, everything you believe or practice has been conditioned. It seeps into our mindset through the culture and classrooms we grew up in. If we don’t pause, reflect and question if these things actually align with us, they will solidify with each aging year as an adult.

6. Who are my core group of friends?

Arguably, one of the most important questions to ask yourself. Those ones that both truly understand you and with whom you have the most fun? There isn’t much left to say here as each of us (hopefully) knows and has felt that real, authentic friendships are as valuable as gold. Friendships add longevity to our lives! Quality vs. quantity is key here.

7. What shadow aspects of myself do I need to release?

Listen, each human is a work in progress. Not one of us is perfect and that in itself is beautiful. The point of this question, rather, is to let go of parts of yourself that you either do not identify with or one(s) that are stalling the growth of your authentic self. Our shadow side aka. the parts of ourselves we keep repressed want to be seen, felt and ultimately released. There is no light without the dark. 

I hope these seven questions to ask yourself act as a guiding light in navigating your abundant path forward!

Being a human is beautiful and complex. Aging is a privilege and not a guarantee.
Be patient with yourself, love yourself and believe in your f*cking self!! 

Thanks for reading!
xo, Missy