If there is one word we Millennials have heard, related to and used over and over again it’s FOMO aka. The Fear of Missing Out.
This phrase describes a reluctance in missing out on social gatherings and events or on the other hand, doom-scrolling through social media feeds.
In general, any situation where you find yourself adversely comparing your experiences with others can be categorized under FOMO.
But what about when you feel no reluctance to miss out or to compare?
When you actively seek out the solitude away from the crowds and social noise to be in peace?
If you can relate to this end of the spectrum chances are you’re experiencing JOMO (The Joy of Missing Out).
Finding My JOMO
As I write this blog post (November 2023) I am residing for one week in a secluded village on a lesser-known Greek island with my close childhood friend, Sophie.
We have seen more street cats than humans.
Besides general stores, there are zero other stores open including restaurants which have closed for the winter season.
And, the amount of roads here can be counted on one hand.
Yet, this kind of vacation, or rather getaway, is one we intentionally chose. Plus, the ocean view from our rental makes us forget anything one might believe we would be missing out on.
In this oasis, we are both working on projects that serve us with joy and purpose – Sophie’s being her crochet business and mine being this blog!
The Joy of Missing Out has us finding our joy in other ways such as tuning into ourselves including our thirty-ish year of friendship.
The Simple Joys
The thing about the Joy of Missing Out is that it doesn’t entail travelling to a tiny island (though I recommend it) nor does one need to reach a state of enlightenment to reap its benefits.
What it does entail is being happy and satisfied in the “missing out” part of life.
Those times when you happily decide to stay home on a Saturday night instead of going out to a bar with your friends.
Or when you put your phone on airplane mode to focus on something tangible like reading a book, drawing or cooking.
The Joy of Missing out becomes the skill of saying “no” to a potential expectation that might drain your mental batteries and “yes” to something that, well, actually fills your batteries!
When reading about JOMO it begins to feel like a full circle moment as I reflect on my blog post about solitude. The state of being in full harmony with oneself free of any feelings of isolation or loneliness.
By digging a little deeper we see this buzzword has its roots prioritized in our well-being by reducing stress and social pressure. This in turn is an act of self-care for our mental health.
JOMO allows us to step back from the hustle and fully embrace being in the present moment.
The Benefits of JOMO
1. Reduced Stress
When we set boundaries such as limiting the time we spend on social media or declining an invite to a dinner party, we lessen the pressure of needing to accept each social interaction.
We also allocate more time for ourselves to, for example, do a hobby, work on a passion project or simply rest.
This type of boundary setting alone has been shown to lessen stress and improve our overall mood.
2. Greater Satisfaction
The more time we spend in solitude the more we become in touch with ourselves.
This contributes to our satisfaction and allows us to discover those things or activities that bring us joy and inner fulfilment.
For me, it’s when I sit down to write a blog post or try out a new baking recipe.
In other words, living in a state of flow by working on something creative that we have intentionally chosen for ourselves. By avoiding external influences we are ultimately led back to our internal satisfaction.
3. Quality Friendships
It comes down to quality vs. quantity.
It’s greater to have fewer friends that you can authentically open up to than it is to have many acquaintances who are only interested in getting to know you on the surface.
The former is a lot more fulfilling.
Plus, the more time one has for these close friendships the deeper the bond will grow.
Bonus! With these kinds of friends, you can opt for JOMO together like Sophie and I are doing in Greece at the moment.
4. Improved Mental Health
If we take the above points and combine them in the following equation:
Fulfilment + Happiness + Satisfaction = Improved Wellbeing
We end up with a result that positively impacts our mental health adding to a greater sense of well-being in our lives.
The Takeaway
When it comes down to it there is no “fear” in missing out but rather an avoidance in getting to know and spending time with ourselves on a deeper level.
If we say yes to everyone in our lives out of reluctance to sit alone or even chase each trend to be validated by others we miss out on something far greater.
Ourselves.
This is something actually to fear.
By welcoming JOMO we are opting to live our lives with greater authenticity and an appreciation for the beauty in stillness this world has to offer.
Thanks for reading!
xo, Missy
