5 Ways to Face Your Fears For Personal Growth

We all have fears, it’s a natural part of being human.

Some may be generalized phobias like a fear of small spaces, the dark or spiders. These types we normally accept, live with and move on. But there is another type of fear, one that stands in the way of your growth and the possible expansions within your life. It’s a fear we know we must confront to avoid potential stagnation. Yet still, we push it away hoping it resolves on its own.

But to face your fears is to take ownership thereby reducing the threat it has over you.

What sort of fears might these be? They are things such as quitting a job, asking your crush out on a date, moving abroad, or asking for a pay raise. It’s these fears that intertwine themselves with exciting opportunities or future success.

We might even call these fears that lead to an expansion – positive fear.

I, like most humans, have come across a fair share of these types of fears. At the end of the day as much as I was apprehensive to confront and deal with them, I knew that if I didn’t they would lurk around and cause an increased feeling of regret. And the weight of that wasn’t worth avoiding the fear itself.

The 5 Steps Forward

Ultimately, we have one of two choices.

1. Either we allow the fear to control us.
2. Or we overcome the fear.

Deciding to go with the latter, I have outlined 5 ways to face your fears.

1. Define

What is it that you are afraid of? Try to get as granular as possible here. We might for example be afraid of leaving a job that no longer fulfils us, but shouldn’t that be the relief? The fear instead might be stepping into the unknown, not finding a suitable job, financial scarcity etc.

2. Accept

As counterintuitive as it may seem, accepting the fear minimizes its power as we avoid suppressing it. Suppression will only cause a build-up of more anxiety as it allows the fear to control us. By acknowledging what we are afraid of we ironically strengthen ourselves against the fear.

3. Feel

That thing you are fearing, whether it be leaving a job, moving to a new city, or asking someone out on a date. What emotion besides being fearful does it elicit for you? By labelling it (shame, guilt, outrage etc.) we are essentially acknowledging the fear as a feeling and not as part of our identity. Labelling also helps re-direct the fear from being a fearful situation to simply a feeling towards a particular situation.

4. Rationalize

The other spectrum of feeling your fear is rationalizing it. This will help contextualize the weight this fear has in your life. In other words, in the grand scheme of things what impact in your life does this anxiety potentially carry with it?

Will it still matter in a few days/weeks/months or one year? Usually what we are fearful of seems bigger in our heads than it is in reality. Taking it back to the example of quitting your job – of course, leaving a job is an intimidating process however it is a mere stepping stone in your career path.

5. Resolve

Once you have gone through the above steps, finding a solution to your fears and anxieties will be much easier. By implementing a solution, you are essentially erasing the hold this fear has over you and replacing it with an opportunity for growth and improvement.

Quitting your job can lead to a better one. Moving to a new city can welcome new connections and a better quality of life. Asking that guy out on a date could lead to a loving relationship.

Face Your Fears With Curiosity

There is a lot to get curious about when our anxieties arise. The hidden gem is that growth, opportunity and abundance often disguise themselves as fear or other stressors to test how much we desire that thing or opportunity that finds itself on the other side of our dread. Face your fears and you might be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.

No comfort in the growth zone, no growth in the comfort zone!

Photo Credit: This image of me was taken by my talented bestie, Sophie in France.

Thanks for reading!
xo, Missy