As of this writing (February 2023), the eve of my thirties is approaching. This marks the end of the third decade of my ever-evolving life as Melissa. An individual I am sometimes challenged with but overall, very satisfied, and happy of being. In the last ten years I have grown in ways I wasn’t aware were possible. I close off this chapter with a combination of nostalgia, exhaustion, gratefulness, sadness, maturity, happiness, and a thirst for the next decade to follow.
If my twenties taught me anything it is that most things that will add value or joy to your life lie outside of your comfort zone. No growth in the comfort zone, no comfort in the growth zone as the saying goes. Like scaling a mountain one step at a time, the view from the top is almost always worth the strenuous climb. The out-of-comfort zone experiences that challenged me the most were ultimately the catalyst to my inner growth and outer success. Education, career, dating, moving across the globe more than once, my mental health, stepping into my authentic self one baby step at a time – all components that tossed me about and shaped the individual I am at thirty years young. Each came with their share of highs and lows, tears and laughter. The pillars in my life that strengthened and encouraged me along this decade-long journey were my closest friends (you ladies know who you are), my immediate family and my own self-love.
We tend to look at milestone birthdays as this intimidating step in life over which we have no control. I no doubt agree with this as I am also feeling a sort of reluctance at hitting the 3-0 mark for various reasons. However, what ironically humbles me with a reality check is that growing older is not a guarantee. Aging may be inevitable but life itself is not and could end at any point in time. This is not to sound grim, it’s to wake up and smell the flowers of all the beauty and chaos this life has to offer – tears, smiles, aches, victories and all.
This reality check blasted me in the face last year in the spring when I was visiting my then 86-year-old Oma in a temporary nursing home. Walking through the halls, hanging on the individual rooms read the names and the former occupations of these now older seniors. Glancing upon a few – mother, dentist, teacher, gardener, uncle etc. Each has lived long lives, experiencing, and accomplishing all sorts of endeavours that the generations after are in the midst of or are awaiting. Now, here they spend the remainder of their days. It gave me a solid cry and a kick in the ass to first off enjoy and be grateful for my youth and second to go out and live life! And might I add, to cut any bullshit out of my life that is only robbing me of joy and growth and not serving me purpose.
What I also began to ponder since that day is how come we as a society have become so fixated on chronological age. There are many nuances to aging and sticking people of one age bracket in a single pot is in my opinion, somewhat of a fallacy and quite bureaucratic in nature. We pay little attention to our biological, mental, or emotional age, which are greater indicators of where we find ourselves on the map of life. Our bodies are vessels and our chronological age is nothing more than a measurement of how long we have been alive. If we were to abolish date of births, what age do you believe you would find yourself at??
At this point, I am excited to begin a new decade of life! The rest is to be continued …
20 highlights from my 20s in no particular (pun intended) chronological order:
- Living in Poland and galavanting through the nightlife with new friends from around the globe. With that came an acquired taste of drinking vodka straight.
- Spending one spontaneous evening with Johnny Depp and Jeff Beck (RIP) with my dad! And being back-stage the following evening for their concert. Absolute legends!! And yes, Johnny is just as cool in person as one might believe.
- Becoming an aunty two more times! In total three amazing kids, I get to be a fun and at times very silly aunt to.
- Interning at two fashion magazines – ELLE and Harper’s BAZAAR (German edition)!
- Reuniting with family members abroad.
- Falling in love maybe more than once.
- Realizing that the people that matter most to me will accept me just as I am and vice versa.
- Enjoying the legalization of Canadian cannabis.
- Graduating with a BBA in Management and fully paying off my student debt.
- Skinny dipping with my girls in the seas of Greece. Renting a vacation house with my friends in Croatia to celebrate two of their Birthdays.
- Learning to live all by myself and how to fully care for myself in an adult way.
- Having visited 21 countries.
- Discovering the wisdom and guidance of Tarot Cards and Astrology
- Eliminating meat and a large amount of other animal products from my diet.
- Meeting my favourite vegan influencer, Erin Ireland! My 30th started off fantastic as she baked and decorated my birthday cake!!
- Getting closer to my parents, grandma and sister on an adult level.
- The incredible friendships I have formed and maintained.
- Realizing my worth and releasing useless self-limiting beliefs that have held me back.
- All the partying one does in their 20’s!
- Kissing many lips…
Photo Credit: this image was taken by my talented bestie, Sophie.
