Each of us has been there – one day we feel like our usual content selves and the next we’re out of sorts plagued by emotions causing us to feel sad, anxious, and even apathetic. It can come about in various ways either through stress or being disconnected from ourselves, for us women our hormonal cycle is often the culprit, and other times it’s an external factor that has triggered this slew of feelings. Put simply it’s called having a bad day(s) aka an emotional flu. Rest assured – this too shall pass. Allow yourself extra rest and self-care during this time as you would a bodily flu.
A few weeks back, I was knocked over by an emotional 48-hour flu – the kind where I wanted to hide from the world and cry in my bed while my mum rubbed my back. Rationality had left my brain and in its place came catastrophizing. As this matter was very personal, I will avoid sharing any details. Having said that, on this particular day, something I viewed on social media triggered me causing a wave of upset and jealousy throughout my body. Ironically, I also felt slightly hypocritical. As my analytical mind does it began crafting a narrative to fill in the blanks however these blanks were rooted in uncertainty causing more confusion and anxiety. My mind at that moment was my villain and went from 0-60 in minutes – I undoubtedly reached my fever state through the virus of jealousy.
Jealousy has always received a bad rep to the point that some deem it to be a sin (a fallacy in my opinion). Yet, by labelling it as such, we are cutting ourselves off from what jealousy can potentially teach us. Each human emotion serves a purpose and jealousy is no different, but moderation is key as too much envy can be toxic. During my 48-hour emotional flu, I came to realize that jealousy appears in our psyche to awaken us to a confrontation within ourselves that we have been pushing away consciously or unconsciously. Either way, it can stem from a sense of overwhelm or a trigger. I am beginning to believe that jealousy is attempting to share with us where in our lives we aren’t speaking up about something we truly care for. Be it related to a person, a thing or a place. We yearn and feel a sense of insecurity for that something as we haven’t received the confirmation that that something is inequality with us. Think of it this way, if we received reassurance that counteracted the upset then the jealousy would inevitably dissepate. My flare-up highlighted a sensitive topic in my life I need to speak up on instead of taping my mouth shut out of fear.
What is the root cause of jealousy? Put simply, when we believe two things cannot co-exist. We seize to accept that two scenarios can and will sometimes co-exist whether we intend for it or not and when we resist, jealousy arises. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing – remember that it is here to awaken you to something. Some of the following examples may offend a few of you and that is not my intention! It is merely what I have observed and reflected on and not necessarily ones I have or would partake in.
• You can be in a committed romantic relationship and still want to hook up with someone else.
• You can be at your happiest as a parent and yet miss the days of being childless.
• You can be satisfied in your adult life yet yearn for your youth.
• You can be in love with someone yet also be interested in other people. (Love and interest are two very different things).
• You can be happily single yet feel like an outsider in a room full of couples.
• You can scale the professional path you envisioned yet glorify others’ achievements.
You can and you will or you might not and this is a completely normal condition of being a human! We are emotional beings, not algorithms. Not every emotion will make sense but it will serve a purpose. Society has conditioned us into a black-and-white mentality yet the human experience has many grey nuances that add depth and beauty to life. It’s when we get caught up in a relentless all-or-nothing, this-or-that mentality that we distress our nervous system to the point where our mind and body shut down to recalibrate back to homeostasis.
Take care of yourself, love yourself, speak up for yourself and allow yourself all the rest when your mind and body need it most.
Emotional Flu Care Package:
• Your bed — sleep and rest as much as you can.
• A journal — writing down your thoughts and how you’re feeling is a cathartic release.
• Tea — it’s a simple remedy.
• Tissues — because crying is a vital cathartic release.
• Loved ones — need I say more? Furry family also counts!
• Vitamin C — your immune system will always thank you.
• Music — it’s proven therapy.
• Netflix — sometimes all we need is a TV show to numb and distract.
