What makes a good life? Depending on who you ask the answers will vary considerably. It comes down to priorities and interests, or whether you’re driven by ego or goodwill. It’s a question that has been picked apart and debated since the dawn of our human existence. Whatever way we choose to position your answer, five key value drivers are the catalysts not only to a good life but a thriving life.
If we take a look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, there is a five-tier system in place for a person to be able to survive and function in life. The bottom two and most vital are physiological needs and safety needs – the essentials to our survival. Moving up the pyramid we encounter love and belonging, esteem and self-actualization. This is the honey-pot where the following five values live. If you’re a visual learner like myself, have a look here.
Belonging
According to the Blue Zones, one of the key drivers to longevity and a good life is being a part of a supportive community. One in which we can swap stories, experience life’s highs and lows together or simply sharing a home-cooked meal. As a species that is instinctually wired to reproduce, it’s quite natural that one of the facets that make up an abundant life is inclusion within a loving group. Whether that be a biological or a chosen family or a friend group, it’s in our blood to be interconnected.
Speaking from evolution – our survival was contingent on community. Together we are stronger. And yes, nowadays we may not need this type of network to survive but we do need it to thrive! Over the past century, we have slowly albeit surely gravitated toward a solely independent lifestyle, even glamourizing it to some extent. Before you read the next sentence, I will add the caveat that as an Aquarius I absolutely support a sense of independence – we came up with it. The correlating issue, however in this self-sufficient lifestyle is the rise in loneliness we are witnessing within society. As with many things in life, balance is vital. Independence and belonging are not mutually exclusive.
If chosen intentionally, the people you surround yourself with will add life to your years and years to your life.
Meaning
This is where things get spiritual and even a little philosophical. Meaning probs the question of – what is life, how did we even come to be and how did we establish life on earth? We are after all meaning-making creatures. Meaning is purely subjective yet the weight it carries offers much breadth and depth. It comes down to the questions of if you believe there is a higher power acting over us and if so who or what is it?
The meaning you give to your life is ultimately how you will live your life.
Whatever your background or upbringing may be, meaning can act as a guiding light, inspiring how you lead your life. To understand your own meaning of life it helps to break it down into constituent aspects. These are spirituality, happiness, consciousness and existence. How do you define each and how connected do you feel to them? There is no right or wrong answer they just need to resonate with you personally.
The greater the relation to our meaning in life the greater satisfaction we can achieve in life.
A caveat to add here is that being spiritual doesn’t exclusively entail praying and going to church. It can mean believing in a higher power, living in symbiosis with nature or the moon cycles, meditating or showing gratitude each day for everything and everyone in your life.
Connection
If belonging is community then connection is the individual relationships. Many things in life come down to energetics and connections are just the same. You will know if you are fostering a healthy and genuine connection by how it makes you feel. Over the years, I have come to notice that keeping up with a social life does either one of two things – provides me with energy or drains me of energy.
Once I began tapping into this I let go of the energy takers and fully gravitated towards the givers. This showed me not only with whom I shared an authentic connection but also how it improved my overall well-being and quality of life. Show accountability for yourself as well, relationships are a two-way street.
Time and connection are valuable. Be intentional about the quality of your relationships.
How good does it feel when you spend time with your best friends? The simple act of spending time together, especially laughing together, has been shown to release oxytocin and endorphins. These happy hormones can be the glue that binds people together. Romantically speaking it’s the same thing, physical touch for example, also releases these hormones by fostering a greater sense of empathy and trust.
In this modern world where surface-level connections come by plenty, there is something very special about carving out that group of people who truly understand your essence and vice versa. Those people where you can talk for hours, laugh together, even cry together and share all the nuances life has to offer.
Purpose
Another study from the Blue Zones – in Okinawa, Japan they live by something called your Ikigai. In our Western world, we call it our purpose. Your purpose is ultimately the quest you have been given in life that requires your fulfilment. Leaving money, career and recognition out of the equation (forget it exists) what is that certain something you would dedicate hours of time and effort toward? It coincides directly with passion which is essentially the fuel in getting your purpose moving.
Your passion is the execution strategy for fulfilling your purpose.
The beauty in purpose is that it can be pursued in countless different ways. For example, say yours is reducing global warming – this could entail being a climate scientist or on the other spectrum blogging about living a minimal waste lifestyle in collaboration with sustainable companies. In my case, I feel a purpose in helping and supporting others in their personal growth and wellness journey. How I am currently pursuing that is through my passion for writing. I will admit I also feel a burning desire in the realm of lifestyle sustainability so stay tuned for that!
Purpose wants your pursuit to make the world a better place. It does not care about the opinions of others or what conditioning or lack-mindset you carry with you. Passion asks you to fulfil that certain something that makes your heart skip a beat and your eyes light up. The two deserve your attention and commitment and to ultimately share it with the world.
Courage
When you have the belief and trust in yourself you can accomplish whatever your intention is set on. Courage is the ship that if steered correctly can steer you in any direction you wish in life. Sometimes, We can fall short of this ingredient due to subconscious programming or societal conditioning that tells us otherwise. But at the core of each of us is courage awaiting its release.
How does courage fit into this value equation you might wonder? Courage nudges us to face our fears by acting from outside our zone of comfort. We’re talking about a healthy fear, one that evolves you to the next level in your life. If we never did anything that scared us we would stay still and remain complacent aka. we would be missing out on the greatest potential in our lives!! This is why courage is so vital in a life well lived.
No growth in the comfort zone, no comfort in the growth zone.
Bringing it back again to our happy hormones, each time we accomplish something whether that be big or small our brains release dopamine, the reward chemical. Remember that time you came out of a job interview or finished your degree? How about the kiss at the end of a great date or confronting a friend with something that’s been lingering in your mind? These things all take courage and will have likely levelled you up, in some way, to an elevated version of you. Your future life is awaiting your actionable courage today.
Thanks for reading!
xo Missy
Photo Credit: my close friend Sophie when we were vacationing on a tiny Greek island.
